Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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