woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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