im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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