you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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