i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
