Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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