Apparently you make a good broom.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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