Kiss
Puke
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize