2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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