Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
