I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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