3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
