Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize