get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
