East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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