My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
