Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My penis needs a shock collar
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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