we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Randomize
