Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have post one night stand depression
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