My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
