I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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