we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
