Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I could fuck to npr.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
