Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
