I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
