It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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