if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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