guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize