how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
