About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
