I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
