Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
