I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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