i would punch a child for taco bell
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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