i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
