my mouth tastes like poor choices
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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