I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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