Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
