I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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