yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
