My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
