guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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