I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
