How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
