I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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