There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
