im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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