My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
