my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
