Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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