I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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