Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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