I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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