Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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