i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
