He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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