What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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