real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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