I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize