You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My life is pants optional.
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