dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
