Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
