great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
