i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
