dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Text me some of your sweat
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
