I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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