The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
