i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
