And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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