Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
