It's just like the Real World with babies
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
